Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn

“In the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes,” Andy Warhol said in 1968.

There’s a little known website called “Common Conservative.com.” However it’s more known than this one. I came across this site via my father-in-law when he forwarded a commentary from one of their writers on this site. My father-in-law is part of this band of renegade e-mailers who load up inboxes throughout the country bombing common sense and things of interest. Every family needs a guy like this and my father-in-law fills this role nicely.

Anyway, back to me and the Common Conservative website. They actually have an editor and staff writers who, according to their website, have been published in the Philadelphia Inquirer, the Washington Times, and papers of that nature. Where I have been published, well uh, right here, and I edit myself, which is a problem that speaks for itself.

When I went to the site I noticed a place called “Guest Submissions.” Naturally being a frustrated writer (I’ve entered a few contest) I clicked and read the rules for submission. I’ve been working on a piece about George Bush (for this blog) and figured it might be something they’d be interested in.

Before I tell you the results, here was my impression of the Common Conservative headquarters. Picture 5 guys in Brooks Brothers suits all wearing power ties and spit-polished hard shoes. They’re sitting around a mahogany conference table while the Fox Business Channel plays in the background. Each man has a laptop and they’re discussing the thousands of guest submissions that pour in throughout the country. Up pops my little email with my George Bush attachment, first there’s a cringe from one of the guys. Another guy begins to giggle; soon the room fills with laughter. Between guffaws one guy says, “Is this a joke?” He hits delete and my submission lands on the trash heap of all aspiring writers.

Like I said, that was my impression of the Common Conservative headquarters.

Here’s what headquarters obviously looks like and what happened.

Some guy living in his mom’s basement rolled off his cot and went to check his email. His shirt stained from last night’s pizza and he wore boxer shorts that haven’t seen a washing machine in over a week. His two buddies, both unemployed, were waiting for him in a chat room when he sat down at his makeshift desk, (his mom’s card table.) They went back and forth about finding something to put in this months issue. They kicked around the idea of ghost writing the guest submission, like they’d always done in the past. But the truth was they were too hung-over to write anything. Up popped my little email with my George Bush attachment, “What’s this?” the basement guy said.

“Hey boys,” the basement guy typed. “We got a submission.”

“What’s it about and is it any good?” another guy typed.

“Who cares, publish it, I’m going back to bed,” the third guy typed.

“Done and done,” the basement guy typed.

Shortly after that, I received this in my email from the editor of the Common Conservative.

“Great job! You've managed to summarize the highs and lows of the Bush Administration in a respectful, yet factual way.

This will run in the December 1 issue. Nice job!”

So friends, you can view my first non-self-published work at http://commonconservative.com/

When you get to the main page, scroll down to “Guest Articles” there you’ll see an article titled, “George Bush in a nutshell, the Bush legacy, warts and all.” Click to read my brilliant take on the Bush Administration. Okay, maybe not brilliant, but I’m on a roll, and my 15 minutes start right now.