Let's Party

I’m not happy with my party. So I went “party looking “to see if there are any I might want to crash. The old saying, desperate times call for desperate measures applies here.

I’ve always looked at third parties as the wacko crowd. You know, the Ralph Nader bunch with his “Tree Hugging” army looking to assault anyone that drives an SUV.

Then I found the U.S. Marijuana Party. I think the name speaks for itself. You’d think they would fit in with the Nader “Green Party.” But then I guess toking on a fatty all day would hurt the environment.

This next party is interesting. The Pot Party…. Yes that’s right. We have two parties where legalizing marijuana is their platform. What in the world did the U.S. Marijuana Party do to tick off a splinter group? Could it be that both parties are so stoned they don’t know about the other? Just think, if those two parties got together…… They would have one big party. (Insert own joke here.)

Then we move on to the U.S. Pacifist Party. I might be wrong, but I think they were having a hard time coming up with a candidate. Nobody from the party wanted to debate each other for fear of being seen as the aggressor. The debate would sound something like this.

“You go first.”

“No you go first.”

“Look, I’m not gonna fight you over this, you go first.”

“I’m not fighting either, so you go first.”

“Since neither one of us are fighting, why don’t we head over to the Pot Party.”

“Aren’t they fighting with the Marijuana Party?”

“Oh yeah, let’s just go smoke one in my new hibred Toyota.”

“I’ll call Nader.”

And so it goes.

Some other parties I came across. Remember the Reform Party and crazy Ross Perot. Whatever happened to that guy? At one time people actually thought he could win. I think he was too paranoid and flaky. Wasn’t it him who started talking about “Black helicopters” flying over his house and George Bush ruining his daughters wedding?

Then we have the standbys. The Communist Party U.S.A….. Although similar, it should not be confused with the Democratic Party. One group thinks the government should take everything you have and spread it to all.

And the other is from the former Soviet Union.

Briefly we have.

All-White Party....That’s just stupid.

The Labor Party….See above, under Democratic Party.

America First Party….Okay, now what?

Christian Falangist Party of America….. You mean they have parties in other countries?

Constitution Party….. How many parties does Pat Buchanan belong too?

Family Values Party….Whatever.

Freedom Socialist Party/Radical Women… I don’t get it. Isn’t Freedom Socialist an oxymoron? Then you throw in radical women…. Run Forest run.

Natural Law Party….. There’s something about the name that sounds wrong.

Light Party…… I don’t know, I just look these things up.

Pansexual Peace Party….. I have no idea, and I read their website.

Prohibition Party….. Yeah, that’ll work….. If it was 1908. While they are at it, why don’t they ban speakeasies and dancing.

Well there you have it, and I didn’t get into the odd parties. Trust me, if you’re a freak, there’s a party for you just a Google away.

This all started as a quest and I’ll end with this. A friend turned me on to this test the other day. Take a few minutes to answer some questions. Then meet me back here in about a week and we'll talk.

That's the way Ron sees it.