Perfect or hoodwinked

The days of a perfect candidate are long gone, if there ever was one. Perhaps you could say Washington, Jefferson or Lincoln was as close as it got to perfection, but they were human and had faults. No one can be all things to all people even if your name is Barry Obama.

Could a toothless George or a mug like Lincoln’s be electable today? Maybe, but I tend to doubt it. Since I wasn’t there at the time, I’d assume both men had a charisma that shot beyond powdered wigs and stovepipe hats. In fact, the people wanted Washington to be king, so he must have had something besides that toothless grin. But that only worked in “ye olden day,” long before grooming got more votes then common sense.

What makes someone electable in this age? Good looks, good ideas, slick speeches, donations, core beliefs? Or how about this, the candidate doesn’t screw up as much as his opponent. (Mike Dukakis looking ridiculous riding in that tank, John Kerry windsurfing, Walter Mondale saying he would raise taxes, and pompous Al Gore being pompous Al Gore.)

The lesser of the two evils is a phrase that’s been around since Mathousala went to the ballot box. So does one candidate win or just the other one lose? Whatever the case, millions of dollars are spent on each side while they’re analyzed, scrutinized and robotized by handlers who want a piece of Presidential pie. Big time politics are not for the faint heart. To jump in, one must be of thick skin and thicker ego.

When it comes down to it, no candidate can relate to the average citizen, but they try. You see them with their shirt sleeves rolled up while stuffing hotdogs down their yap at some hillbilly lunch counter. Who could forget Hillary slamming a shot of bourbon down her pipes then chasing it with a half kegger? What a gal. They really look more ridiculous than normal, but it’s a game they must play.

To be President you have to want it, really, really, want it. A candidate must be obsessive, neurotic, and down right crazy to the extreme. Which begs the question, should we elect someone who wants it that bad?

Face it, the best and the brightest aren’t politicians, which should scare us to death. But never overestimate the judgment of the voter. The slack-jawed yokel is the politician’s friend. They know the right sound bite will get Buster off the couch and down to precinct quicker than you can say, “Hope and change.” Don’t bother Rufus with the details, there’s a “Dukes of Hazzard” marathon on the magic box and mamma just made chocolate pie. All Billy Bob knows is he ain’t rich and the man on the tube feels his pain.

As we head for the stretch run in this campaign remember, no vote is more dangerous than an uninformed one and we always get the President we deserve.