Sunday, January 4, 2009

Psst...hey buddy, want to buy a letter?

This post is totally self-serving
As we kickoff a new year I figured it’s time for me to hang out my shingle on the Internet highway. Now days anybody can run a virtual store in the comfort of their t-shirt and boxer shorts. Though I haven’t searched, I bet you can buy anything from doggie diapers to sand from Florida on the Internet. In the web, nothing is obscure and if you’re selling it, somebody somewhere is looking to buy it. However web traffic is the hardest nut to crack. Just because you’re selling doesn’t mean the knucklehead wanting your product can navigate through clicks and search engines looking for your homemade Fat Belly Flash Dart, (it’s a fishing lure).

Tons of money can be spent on webmasters, web hosting, sitemaps, and so forth (nerds really run the world). Then more dollars on ads, search engine listings, web traffic, and on and on, (did I say nerds ran the world?) I’ve tried to understand this geeky world, but some things just don’t compute. Evidently, to get your website noticed you must put it in a language Google can understand. Sounds simple, right? I mean, Google isn’t an idiot; it should be able to read English, well, does this look like English? (Note: I had to remove the html code as an example. It throw this post out of whack and almost crashed my site)

Nerds are paying jocks back for every wedgie, gotch pull, and mervin ever displaced on ones underpants. In one fell swoop, the biggest wedgie of all is called “html code” and it’s the geeks who strut down the Internet hallway waiting to bully a dolt like me trying to create a sitemap for my website.

I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to web design. Best I can do with a nerd-less brain and a shoestring budget is to fumble around with my Mac and try to create something that looks better than a 3rd grader alone with a computer. Problem is Google doesn’t like Mac, which compounds my problem. Not only am I clueless about html codes, I’m trapped in a “War of the geeks” trying to negotiate through a minefield of algorithms, ftp files, and webspiders. Imagine being in Germany trying to communicate in Italian when you can barely speak English. That was my weekend. All I wanted to do was set-up shop and have a little business floating out in web-land, but mean old Mr. Nerd kept derailing my efforts.

Finally with some luck and fishing line my website is ready to launch. If Google can’t read it so be it.

Now I know what you’re thinking. What in the world could Ron possibly sell?
Would you believe a writing service? I’ll give you a moment to laugh and pick yourself off the floor while I explain.

I was searching for writing websites (that’s becoming my hobby) when I stumbled across letter writing services. One particular site caught my eye, it furnished custom love letters. Yep, with a few clicks and 50 bucks, you can get a love letter written for your sweetie. And it got me to thinking…. No, not writing sappy prose with X’s and O’s, but writing letters…huh. I could do that.

I’ve never lacked confidence in my writing, but I do lack confidence in other people understanding my writing. Here’s an Example, one time an English major told me that I put commas in the wrong place. No, I, put, commas, where, I, want, a, pause. But I digress, every time I think of that woman, I see red. She never understood a word I wrote. (Let it go Ron)
Anyway, I’ve amused a few people with my letters (stuff you don’t see here). I’ve been told I have a unique way of stringing words together. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t, but words are a passion of mine and I do the best I can. By putting my words out on the Internet, I can’t be concerned with what anyone thinks. Although comments are always accepted, I am what I am. And I can write a killer letter, if I say so myself.

So tell me, Ron, tell me the web address. Hold on, I’ll get to it.

But first, the beauty of an Internet store is that it never closes and the cost is cheap enough. If it flies all the better, but if it don’t it’s no biggie. My ego won’t even be crushed, because I don’t know how someone would find this site, I’ll just let it float out there. Maybe over time it will draw some attention, (like a fungus.)

The site Ron, where can I find the site? Ah, the build up.

Almost there, but first my friends, you must do something for me. Since friends and family are the only ones to read this blog, you must do your part. I need you to critique the site. Either leave a comment here or email me with your thoughts. I’ve even got a spiffy “Guestbook” page on the website that you can use for a quick message.
Answer these questions.

How does the site look? Fonts easy to read?

Would you buy a letter from this man?

Is the type of service offered clear in the first paragraph?

Are the sample letters a good example of my style and service?

Be advised, when you see the photos of me you’ll probably wonder why I didn’t chose male modeling as a side job, (one gift at a time). And now without further ado, I give you, “Letters That Leave a Mark,” at http://lettersthatleaveamark.com Go!

2 comments:

Rick O'Shay said...

And no ones left a comment? Huh.

Runrandall said...

I need a letter for a guy that says if you sleep with a ring under your pillow, then really look at it in the morning you will see what you want and then you will get it. Oh and part of the deal is sending him $48.00 or more.
I'll so you the letter at track.